It is just another stupid story of a stupid guy who committed the folly of falling in love with a girl in his workplace.
That love forms the backdrop of stupidity is well known, still idiots like me are more than willing to take the plunge.It happened to me during the training period of my job. I fell in love with a girl at work place.Now, it is exemplified stupidity to fall in love with someone who earns the same as you do because girls do not give shit about guys who earn equal to or less than their own salary.If falling in love with a girl working in the same office wasn’t stupid enough, I committed an even bigger kick-in-the-ass worthy mistake- I fell in love with a Delhi girl .Now,you don’t fall in love with girls from Delhi because they are twice as bitchy,throw four times as much tantrums and have more boyfriends than there are people in Vatican city.
It’s not like I didn’t try to prevent myself from committing this horrific act of lunacy. I hardly talk to girls.And,I have legitimate reasons for that. Every time you talk to a girl you feel an urgency to shoot yourself in the head to escape the incoming crap. It’s like girls are genetically incapable of mature talk and they are consistently and persistently clueless.
So,one fine day I told a few of my friends that I liked her.Now,those Godforsaken dudes blurted out everything in front of that girl and everyone else in the office and all of a sudden I became as popular among my co –workers as kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi is among Indian house wives.
For some weird reasons I generated huge curiosity among two of the girl’s friends who I later came to know were also her roommates.I came to know that they were looking for me.Now,two girls looking for you is generally considered good news for a guy but when you are not sure as to what they are going to do with you after they find you is when you start to freak out.I freaked out too.So,I had to spend quite a few coffee breaks in weird places to escape being noticed.
When you are in love every Tom, Dick and Harry around you considers it his moral responsibility to guide you. So, every dumbass you come across, starts giving you love advices
One friend – “ So,why don’t you propose her?”
ME – “I don’t know.For one, it seems she has a boyfriend.She is on the phone all the time.”
FRIEND – “How does it prove that she has a BF?
ME – “Common sense says if a girl talks on the phone for more than five minutes, it has to be a guy at the other end.
Besides , at this age if you don’t have a Boyfriend then either you are ugly ,fat or a lesbian .Now,she doesn’t
exactly fit the first two profiles and I am hopng she doesn’t turn out to be the last one”
ANOTHER FRIEND – “Propose her even if she is committed because if the girl is single you have the whole world to compete with. If
however she is committed then you have only one guy to compete with.
FRIEND NO. 3 – “ Forget her,propose her friend.She is way hotter.”
FRIEND NO. 4- “ Propose her .She will definitely say yes.Because girls are more desperate to have Boyfriends.Because guys need
girlfriends for romance while girls need boyfriends to pay the restaurant bills,to pay the shopping bills,to pay
the transport bills,to keep receiving gifts regularly and to bore someone to death by talking absolute nonsense
for hours on the phone”
Your friends are your worst enemies at this point.They passed comments every time the girl and I came face to face with each other.And those moments of embarrassment were one of the few moments where you feel life isn’t exactly a bed of roses,it’s a pile of shit.It’s messy and stinks for most parts.
The friends of the girl whenever they spotted me burst into smiles showing their Colgate brushed 32 giving expressions that normally people give after listening to Russel Peters’ racist jokes.
I came to know from a few friends of mine that the girl wanted t talk to me.But what was I supposed to say- “hey, I like you.But, fuck it you already know that.”
You just don’t go up to a girl and start up a conversation especially when she knows that you are hitting on her.You will look more pathetic than the guy selling HARPIC on TV
The things, I never thought of proposing her.It never crossed my mind.I just liked her.Besides, this whole love thing doesn’t look glamorous when you look at the lovers around .When people are in love they behave like idiots.Once, I heard a guy talking to her girlfriend on phone and he said something like this
“jaanu tum mujhe pyar karti ho.bataao kitna pyar karti ho”
AND I was like-Motherfucker, the scientists all over the world thought it wasn’t valuable enough to spend time creating a metric system to measure the love quotient of losers like you.So no , she won’t be able to tell how much she loves you.”
I didn’t want to turn into one of these losers but damn it ,every time you see a pretty face there is a warm feeling in your stomach.
So,2 months passed by and I couldn’t do anything.i couldn’t even be sure if she had a boyfriend or if she was even remotely interested in me. The Training ended and we both got different locations never to meet again.So, I didn’t get the girl.But I fared better than most of the boys .i didn’t get beaten up by the girl’s boyfriend,didn’t end up in the police station and didn’t get slapped by the girl.As, I was leaving , I got another free advice-“don’t worry dude.the best thing about being rejected is that there is always a better girl at the other end .”
“GOOD GUYS NEVER GET THE GIRL”
–ETHAN HAWKE in the movie TAKING LIVES
DISCLAIMER:- This story is pure fiction and any resemblance to any one living or dead is purely co-incidental. Still,if any one relates to this story then the author doesn’t find any reason as to why he should even bother to give a shit.